There is this strange relief that I don't have to start hard core chemo, but also this heaviness that the cancer has spread to a degree that traditional chemotherapy would be prohibitive. But despite this news I still have a peace and joy in my heart and I'm learning that even though this situation seems bleak, I know that NOTHING is impossible for my God. He still holds me and he is still working. He has given me a team of people to help fight with me and for me, not just traditional medical care but holistic, herbal, physical exercise, nutrition, and spiritual. We have prayerfully, and humbly made every choice thus far feeling led in this direction. This is not an easy thing to try and navigate but we are doing the best we can.
I understand the seriousness of what is going on, but I also understand that every day I live is a gift and there is no illusion that I am in control of my life. I take great comfort in that thought, because for so long I have tired to control everything I could and it was wearisome. I was holding on too tight and I was losing everything around me. I've decided to let go and it seems as though I'm getting my life back. Cancer has changed me, it has made me see what is truly important and what is not, putting things into their proper place and helping me and my family refocus. It has been a blessing and I can say that I am thankful for what has been and what will be.
Please continue to pray as you have been. Don't ever underestimate the power that we all feel from your prayers!!
~Pray against fear and discouragement.
~Pray that this current course of treatment and all the supplemental things we do would be effective.
~Pray that our home would be filled with joy and peace and that we can figure out how best to do life together as we continue to navigate this journey we are all on.
~Pray for a miracle of complete and whole healing! :)