Sunday, July 16, 2017

July 16, 2017

It has been one month ago today.  It seems so engrained to measure things by time, such a calculable yet confining concept.  The further we move away from the date, the further I feel away from Aimee and the life we shared.  I hated flipping the calendar and in a sense "moving on" with life.  I just wanted things to stay.  It has been difficult as fear and thoughts bounce around like, "Will I remember her well, or will the memories start to fade?  Will the business and busyness of life take over?  ...Just wanting to hold on...

In this place of fear of losing memories and fear of what the future holds, I am learning to hand it over to God and let Him give me the patience and contentment  for the moment that I have right now. It's been a challenge but a good one in letting the Spirit fill the deep void that's been left with Aimee no longer with me and by my side.  The kids and I miss her singing and dancing around the house.  There was a radiant and beautiful energy with her here and I miss that so much.  It hurts... and I wonder why God did't heal her in the way I was really hoping He would.  We had a good marriage and we were best friends and we laughed, cried, prayed, and did everything together.  I cannot understand God's ways but I am learning a lot about Him in suffering.  The strength Aimee had in her crisis is the strength that I now feel in mine.  God's hand is holding mine and by faith I can feel His presence guiding me.

Though sometimes I cringe at the effort it takes to be still and let the Spirit speak, I am learning that He does speak and comfort me in the midst of the pain.  Sometimes I want something so tangible to hold onto and my ragged old Bible doesn't seem like enough but then as I open up, its pages pour life and hope back into my soul.  In moments of weakness I feel that God is just too invisible but I am learning that there is so much more in life than meets the eye.  As 2 Corinthians 4:18 says, we need to look at the things that are not seen, "The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow.  But the things we can't see now will last forever."  I envision Aimee now just beholding with her new eyes, King Jesus in all His glory!

In the message I heard this morning in church, the preacher opened up with the illustration of Mary Poppins' carpet bag.  It contained a whole lot more than it looked like it could.  That's how life is here.  Things look so limited and small and impossible.  We look at what our earthly eyes can see and say "there's no way a floor lamp could come out of that carpet bag."  I've been learning that God's power is so unlimited and boundless.  When I put my eyes on Christ, I can rest in this foggy and unclear pilgrim journey knowing that His eyes can see all that mine can't, so He will be my vision, giving me sight beyond what these two eyes can see.

The other night I was struggling to find solace in the restless silence.  I needed to hear something, I needed a word, I prayed for God to speak and He took me to John 16:16-23.  It seemed like a random and confusing text to land upon and even in my somewhat frustrated state, I was right there with the disciples asking myself, "What the heck is Jesus talking about here?, "a little while..."  They said amongst themselves, "What is this that He says to us, a little while and you will not see Me; and again a little while, and you will see Me?"  Jesus of course is talking about His crucifixion, resurrection, ascension, and second coming in figures of speech.  But what really stood out to me was the repetition of the phrase, "a little while" seven different times in this short passage.  God was reminding me that that is what life is like.  It's just a little while.  No matter how long we live, we all only have such a short span.  The passage goes on to speak in verse 20, "but your sorrow will be turned into joy."  It then talks about childbirth and the hard time of pain and labor giving way to the joy of a new life which wipes out the memory of the pain.  I witnessed the three amazing natural births of my children and I can remember watching anguish wash away under the magnificence and beauty of new life.  Peace and Joy.  In the new life when we are made perfect, there will be no more pain and sorrow, what an awesome thought!  I have a picture of Aimee holding a jar with a chrysalis inside just about to turn into a butterfly.  I also took a later picture of her holding the new creation right before it's wings open to flight.  It was taken just weeks before she emerged from her own shell to be made into a new and beautiful, colorful addition into the heavenly kingdom.



I am learning that any pain and sorrow in this life can only add fuel to the joy that will be mine just as the lyrics in the hymn says, "Be still my soul, Jesus can repay from His own fullness all He takes away." Chariots of Fire was the last movie Aimee and I ever watched together, just a couple weeks before she hit the finish line after her own Eric Liddell style, passionate, sprinting race.  I learned later that "Be still My Soul" was Liddell's favorite hymn so it has new meaning to me now.  Her eyes were on the prize and after the funeral service I overheard a pastor there say, "Isn't heaven going to be just Awesome?"  The question is so potent because it is so true!  We will all get to unite together in glory and it makes me want to run now with such perseverance.   Living now as 2 Corinthians says,  "as unknown, and yet well known, as dying and behold we live, as chastened and yet not killed; as sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; as poor, yet making many rich; as having nothing, and yet possessing all things." As Hebrews 12:1 also says, "We are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses... let us run with endurance the race that is set before us."  MSG vs. 2, "Keep your eyes on Jesus who both began and finished this race we're in.  Study how He did it, because He never lost sight of where He was headed."  It was for His joy that He endured the cross and despised the shame, finally to be seated at the right hand of the throne of God!  This is my hope...




I want to take this opportunity to personally thank each one of you who have blessed us in prayer, with words of encouragement, cards, gifts, time and just overall being the outpouring of God's goodness, providence, and grace in the midst of this difficult time.  Here are some more specifics for prayer...



- For wisdom in guiding the children through the loss of their mother ( praise God they are doing well so far and we also were blessed to have a restful couple days on the beach just me and the kids)

- For patience in developing new systems and schedules for everyone

- For continued favor in the guest house project in the back yard for my in-laws

- For my father and mother in law as they adapt to life here helping out with the kids, that they would have peace, strength, and joy to guide them in this new season

- For The Name of Jesus to be glorified throughout the world







Inspirational song to me lately... Invisible by Leeland

14 comments:

  1. Praying with you and for you and your family. Draw close to them all at this time. Thank God for family and the the beautiful children God has blessed you with. Hugs to all. πŸ˜”πŸ™πŸ’•

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    Replies
    1. my name is Mark Godwin am here to share testimony of how i got back my relationship that was scattered for months. we got married for more than 7 years and have gotten three kids. things were going well with us and we are always happy. until one day my wife started behaving in a way i could not understand, i was very confused by the way she treat me and the kids. for months she did not come home again and she called me for a divorce, i asked her what have i done wrong to deserve this from her, all she was saying is that she want a divorce that she hate me and do not want to see me again in her life, i was mad and also frustrated and do not know what to do,i was sick for more than 3 weeks i want to be reunited back with my husband in 2016 blog of her intention towards me. i love my wife so much and can do anything for her. i told my brother and he told me to contact a spell caster, i never ain all this spell casting of a thing. i just want to try if something will come out of it. i contacted DR Alexzander through his website, for the return of my wife to me, he told me that my wife have been taken by another man, that he cast a spell on her that was why she hate me and also want us to divorce. then they told me that they have to cast a spell on her that will make her return to me and the kids, Dr alexzander cast the spell and after 1 week my wife called me and she told me that i should forgive her, she apologizes on phone and said that she did not know what happened to her. it was the spell that DR Alexzander cast on her that made her return back to me today,me and my family are now happy again. thank you Dr Alexzander for what you have done for me i would have been nothing today if not for HIS great spell. i want all my friends who are passing through all this kind of love problem of getting back their husband, wife , or ex boyfriend and girlfriend to contact {alexzanderhightemple@gmail.com or through his whatsapp number +2348075823891 Or call him with this phone number +2347068836760 if you need a supernatural great wizard to cast a spell for you. email Dr alexzander and you will see that your problem will be solved without any delay.These are the few things he also do for people. *do you need rapid and undeserved promotions in your offices or work? Dr alexzander can bring back lost lovers on 96hrs and can cast all kind of spell. Dr alexzander is a healer that is here on earth to solve your problems just as he did to mine.this is your chance to be helped quickly by Dr alexzander.his an expert in distance healing, court cases even if one is convicted. he can do all manner of spell that you may need in life.he can also make you conceive a child and win money through gambling and other things you may desire to have in life. contact him and be the next to share his good work to the world. alexzanderhightemple@gmail.com.

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  2. Scott, may our Lord and Savior continue to give you and your children comfort. What confidence we have in knowing exactly where Aimee is!

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  3. Blesses my hurting heart, Scott. Thank you for sharing. Love you all so much. (Mom, Nana)

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  4. We love you Scott. Thanks for sharing your heart.

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  5. Thank you Scott. You are just as encouraging as Aimee was- I want to walk in the grace and truth that you have both found. Praying for you and the kids and Aimee's parents.

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  6. Testimony On How My Ex Come Back.
    My name is Lorna Harron, and I base in USA...My life is back!!! After 2 years of Broken marriage, my husband left me with two kids . I felt like my life was about to end i almost committed suicide, i was emotionally down for a very long time. Thanks to a spell caster called Dr Ogboni, which i met online. On one faithful day, as I was browsing through the internet,I came across allot of testimonies about this particular spell caster. Some people testified that he brought their Ex lover back, some testified that he restores womb,cure cancer,and other sickness, some testified that he can cast a spell to stop divorce and so on. i also come across one particular testimony,it was about a woman called Sonia,she testified about how he brought back her Ex lover in less than 2 days, and at the end of her testimony she dropped Dr ogboni's e-mail address. After reading all these,I decided to give it a try. I contacted him via email and explained my problem to him. In just 48hours, my husband came back to me. We solved our issues, and we are even happier than before Dr Ogboni, is really a gifted man and i will not stop publishing him because he is a wonderful man... If you have a problem and you are looking for a real and genuine spell caster to solve all your problems for you. Try High ogbonispelltemple@hotmail.com anytime, he might be the answer to your problems. Here's his contact: ogbonispelltemple@hotmail.com or call him :+2347054263874

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  7. How I Got My Ex Husband Back...........

    I am Shannon by name. Greetings to every one that is reading this testimony. I have been rejected by my husband after three(3) years of marriage just because another woman had a spell on him and he left me and the kid to suffer. one day when i was reading through the web, i saw a post on how this spell caster on this address Makospelltemple@yahoo.com , have help a woman to get back her husband and i gave him a reply to his address and he told me that a woman had a spell on my husband and he told me that he will help me and after 2 days that i will have my husband back. i believed him and today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the power to bring lovers back. because i am now happy with my husband. Thanks for Dr.Mako. His email: Makospelltemple@yahoo.com OR. his phone number: +2348108737816.

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  8. see cancertutor.com, cancerfightingstrategies.com and naturaltreatmentsforcancer.com (safe, affordable, effective alternate treatments) and curezone.org (search cancer forum) === vegans' blood has 8X the stopping power when it comes to cancer === ketogenic diet - Cancer cells can't use ketones, but use glucose and glutamine for metabolism. Avoid carbohydrates, iron and sugar (they feed cancer) ! === Prevent Cachexia - N-Acetyl Cysteine, virgin coconut oil, raw organic goat milk, medical marijuana, Garden of Life's Primal Defense, and Homeostatic Soil Organisms.

    see Salvestrols.(not the discrediting Wikipedia article about Salvestrols. The Salvestrols used in Salvestrol platinum pills do not use resveratrol .) Professor Burke of Aberdeen University found all cancer cells have CYP1B1 enzyme. Professor Potter at De Montfort University found compounds in fruits, vegetables and herbs transform CYP1B1 enzyme into anti-cancer agents. He named them Salvestrols. Burke and Potter got together with Anthony Daniels and created Salvestrol supplements. Google 'salvestrol case studies' and google 'Salvestrol Platinum' pills. Salvestrols can be used alone or with conventional treatment. For children under 12 they need to consult a physician first. Salvestrols: Natures Defense Against Cancer by Schaefer and Primal Panacea by Levy MD.

    medicinal cannabis oil - proven as one of the most powerful cancer fighters and cured terminal case cancer patients. (phoenixtears.ca)(ricksimpsoncancercarecenter@gmail.com)(Ricksimpsonoilcure@gmail.com)(http://worldclasskushsupplier.webs.com/), cured leukaemia, aggressive glioma brain tumours, breast, lung, prostate, liver, pancreatic, oral, colon and other cancers

    Lypo-Spheric liposomal vit-C for cancer / Dr Linus Pauling - 10 grams of vitamin C doubles life expectancy of cancer patients, and, in some cases effects a complete cure.

    700+ hospitals in Japan use multi-mushroom formulas like AHCC and RM-10 Ultra - boost cancer-killing immune cells up to 200%, macrophage cells (swallow cancer cells whole) by 100% and natural killer (NK) cells up to 900%. Agaricus Blazei Murill, or the ABM mushroom - wipe out Ehrlich's ascites carcinoma, sigmoid colonic cancer, ovarian cancer, breast cancer, lung cancer, and liver cancer as well as tumours - studies in Japan show ABM to be 80% more effective than world's #1 cancer drug, PSK. RM-1O Immune Defense by Garden of LIfe - naturopath who developed it used it to save his mother from stage IV Ovarian Cancer.

    Dried/cooked ginger contains 6-shogaol - a compound 10,000X more effective than chemo in targeting cancer stem cells that are the root of cancers as they are capable of self renewal, continuous differentiation, creating new tumor colonies and are chemo-resistant

    Oleander extract (Sutherlandia OPC) - new version called Rose Laurel OPC Plus, sold by Utopia Silver Supplement has 33% more oleander. Dosage: 5-25 ml of extract 3 times daily or 3-9 capsules daily. N-Acetyl Cysteine is an absolutely essential supplement to use with oleander. See:"Apoptosis/Necrosis versus Cancer as a Defense Mechanism - And Why I Consider N-Acetyl Cysteine Essential for Beating Cancer" by Naturopathic PhD Marc Swanepoel.

    Baking soda increases pH of tumors and inhibit metastasis without upsetting pH of blood and healthy tissues. Dr. Julian Whitaker's protocol uses 12g of baking soda in 2 cups water with blackstrap molasses, sip it over an hour and repeat 3x daily. Dr. Sircus documented one patient used 2 teaspoons each of baking soda and blackstrap molasses twice daily for prostate cancer that metastasized to his bones. By 10th day, his pH rose to 8.5 and his PSA (protein that determine severity of prostate cancer) went from 22.3 to 0.1. Baking soda reduced involvement of lymph nodes on transport of cancer cells, reduced involvement of the liver and, spread of cancer cells to other organs

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  9. Scott,

    You, your beautiful children, and your whole family are in my prayers. Aimee was such a light. And even though she went Home to be with the Lord, I know her light will continue to shine through you and your children. Though your time together was (relatively) short, I am so incredibly thankful for the wonderful blessing of marriage that you shared. A godly marriage is incredibly beautiful and sadly, these days, a rarity. I know you appreciate and cherish that gift.

    I've been through my own devastating trials over the last 14+ years, and while so incredibly hard, God has been and continues to be faithful! Through all of it, even as I continue to struggle through the pain and sadness, He has blessed me and continually draws me closer to Himself, for which I'm incredibly grateful. I pray He does the same for you, that His all-powerful, guiding hands continually be upon you as you find your way along this new path. I pray for wisdom and strength, peace and patience. I pray for health and balance, and above all, I pray that you and your children seek Christ always and live your lives as a testament to Him. I can see that you already are.

    My dear brother in Christ, may you know God's love each and every day. May you rest in His promises.

    Jenn (Mumma)
    Romans 8:28

    ReplyDelete
  10. my name is Mark Godwin am here to share testimony of how i got back my relationship that was scattered for months. we got married for more than 7 years and have gotten three kids. things were going well with us and we are always happy. until one day my wife started behaving in a way i could not understand, i was very confused by the way she treat me and the kids. for months she did not come home again and she called me for a divorce, i asked her what have i done wrong to deserve this from her, all she was saying is that she want a divorce that she hate me and do not want to see me again in her life, i was mad and also frustrated and do not know what to do,i was sick for more than 3 weeks i want to be reunited back with my husband in 2016 blog of her intention towards me. i love my wife so much and can do anything for her. i told my brother and he told me to contact a spell caster, i never ain all this spell casting of a thing. i just want to try if something will come out of it. i contacted DR Alexzander through his website, for the return of my wife to me, he told me that my wife have been taken by another man, that he cast a spell on her that was why she hate me and also want us to divorce. then they told me that they have to cast a spell on her that will make her return to me and the kids, Dr alexzander cast the spell and after 1 week my wife called me and she told me that i should forgive her, she apologizes on phone and said that she did not know what happened to her. it was the spell that DR Alexzander cast on her that made her return back to me today,me and my family are now happy again. thank you Dr Alexzander for what you have done for me i would have been nothing today if not for HIS great spell. i want all my friends who are passing through all this kind of love problem of getting back their husband, wife , or ex boyfriend and girlfriend to contact {alexzanderhightemple@gmail.com or through his whatsapp number +2348075823891 Or call him with this phone number +2347068836760 if you need a supernatural great wizard to cast a spell for you. email Dr alexzander and you will see that your problem will be solved without any delay.These are the few things he also do for people. *do you need rapid and undeserved promotions in your offices or work? Dr alexzander can bring back lost lovers on 96hrs and can cast all kind of spell. Dr alexzander is a healer that is here on earth to solve your problems just as he did to mine.this is your chance to be helped quickly by Dr alexzander.his an expert in distance healing, court cases even if one is convicted. he can do all manner of spell that you may need in life.he can also make you conceive a child and win money through gambling and other things you may desire to have in life. contact him and be the next to share his good work to the world. alexzanderhightemple@gmail.com.

    ReplyDelete
  11. TESTIMONY;
    My name is Hidago Daniel. I made a promise to tell others the wonderful work of he who brought my ex girlfriend back to me. He is doctor UZOYA who is a spell doctor and was able to bring back my ex. My ex left me the very day she met her friend in my place, of which, unknowingly to her, I had nothing to do with her. She grew furious at the very sight of her friend and I was confused if she was initially mad with her. Days into weeks and weeks into months, my ex girlfriend did not speak a word to me as she went away. What was I to do? That was how i contacted doctor UZOYA on the internet who after some procedures and progress, brought back my ex. Words are not enough to express my feelings and what doctor UZOYA has done for me. He really lifted a heavy load off my chest. To all those out there, please, don't think your situation is too primitive or too hard and complicated for anyone to understand. Contact doctor UZOYA and find joy once again, contact him on; driraborspellcaster@gmail.com also talk to him on +1(301) 909 8775

    ReplyDelete
  12. It was too late for me to realize that my six-year-old marriage was only an episode, I feel that I try every time to convince my husband to love, commit and respect me as the queen of his heart but time worsened everything, he never changes to becoming the man I once fell in love with despite my humanly efforts.
    I was encouraged to share this review eight month after my husband’s loyalty was restored by a man I call my spiritual father; dr. wakina {dr.wakinalovetemple@gmail.com}. My spiritual father practically made our hearts unbreakable and our love 10 times stronger. We have been enjoying the benefits of his spell on us.
    Hope you are encouraged never to let go after reading this review? Note that there is hope and love on the other side only if you begin now to fight for the future. Thanks for your time.

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  13. Hi everybody. I recently saw a testimony about Dr. Todd in a blog I visit for relationship and dating counseling problems because i had been having serious issues with my boyfriend and we had been dating for six months, he just suddenly changed,he wasnt returning my calls,he started cheating,he was hurting me in many ways i never thought possible and I just thought I should try it*maybe out of desperation of some sort*..and I contacted Dr. Todd..At first everything felt dreamy and unbelievable,his consultations and solution was a little bit easy and strange and I was scared a little coz I heard read and heard lots of stories of fake spell casters,scams and i never really believed in magic..I played along with a little hope and and faith and I sent some few stuffs after everything and it worked like a miracle,everything went to a while new direction,it was and is amazing...I guess it was all good faith that made me read That particular post that faithful day..I hope he could help other people too like he did me...I did a little and I got everything I wanted and wished for*my husband,my family and my life back. E-mail: manifestspellcast@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete